Distractions Distractions

Hi All!

            I know I know, I haven't blogged or anything in awhile. There was a number of things going on that kept me distracted, so that's where we are going to stage this blog, in the field of distractions. Distractions are one of the things that have a hand in self-care, but maybe it's just me, but in the times where we aren't doing anything we end up doing something we shouldn't be doing, like spending too much time on Facebook.

            Facebook has created a wonderful web media that can take your attention, shake it around and turn it into a finger puppet. And it's media like this that I could honestly do without. So what I've tried to do for the last two weeks or so is avoid contact with said website because I feel it was pulling me away from what I SHOULD be focusing on. Let me go off on a tangent for a second.

            You see, the thing about people with ADD/ADHD is that they are super distracted and unfocused most of the time, they can even come off as completely oblivious. But when you get them to do something that is fun, you can hardly pull them away with it. Throw Facebook into that bowl and you have a successful recipe for cookies that eat your soul. People find Facebook both distracting and fun, and since there is so much to see and do on Facebook it makes people who have ADD/ADHD seem like jack tussle tarries. I only say these things because I am one of those peeps diagnosed with ADHD.

            Now to add another topping to this distraction burger, there is the clinical depression bit and how that causes your mind to stay focused on the things that make a  person feel sad or angsty (that's not a correct word, but whatever!). So during my distraction tangents on Facebook, I get to see all the things going on back home in other people's lives. It's hard being a missionary because I'm not there with them. But it's even harder for me to see that pretty much everyone my age I know is now either in a relationship, engaged or married. This has brought me to a level of discomfort that has caused me try and look at the situation rationally.

            Problem was, it wasn't working. It led me down that path again of loneliness, doubt, disbelief and hopelessness for myself. But wait... I'M A MISSIONARY!!! Instead of dwelling on issues like this, I should flash myself back to about a month ago where I was only brainstorming and thinking about how I can further God's Kingdom in this place. How I can mentor youth and teach all I can to them while learning all I can from them in return. This realization of growing up and how much I think it bites to be single was also making me a slightly anti-social fellow.

            So the remedy? Remove the triggers of what distract me from the situation. An internet social media like Facebook triggered a mental response that led me down a dark road. So I stopped and ran back the other direction. Little to no interaction with Facebook since then has been a wonderful idea. What I need to remember is that I need to pray for strength from my Creator to do exactly what He did to the Devil while he was wondering the wilderness, basically tell the Devil that He won't do what the Devil wants Him to do and the Devil will eventually go away.

Yes, I just called Facebook the Devil..... At least it is in this situation.

+PeAcE+

Not too sure how this one will fly?

What do I say about how I am handling this situation?

                                                                                   Hopeful?

                                                                       Heartbroken?     Lost?

                                                                                  Prayerful?

                                                                                  Helpless?

                                                                                  Stronger?

                Yes, Stronger. I feel stronger from this situation. Or at least I know this situation will make me stronger. And God willing, it will make these youth stronger as well.

                I feel for these youth, I really do. A good number raise themselves. I suppose this plays a big role in their behavioral development. Some don't like talking when something is wrong, like they are taught to hide their emotions. Every one of them always tries to act tough. Most of them come from broken homes. It effects them and it effects me severely. I can say I have "sympathy pains" for them. Usually when I hear people use this phrase, it's after someone takes some bodily injury in a very painful fashion and those people who spectate can "feel" how that pain felt. Emotionally, it's something deeper.  I could say that "sympathy pains" have always been something that stick with me. I'm not sure what everyone else's opinions are on "sympathy pains", but for me it plays a big role in my spirituality. Those pains make me feel alive, thankful... human. I'm not saying that's what they really are, that the ability to feel "sympathy pains" MAKES a person human, it's just what makes ME feel human. For me, they make me feel connected to the people around me. A connection I cannot understand or explain without referring to God, the creator, the ever-moving force all around us. I hope you understand.

                But then what is humanity? What is humane? Is it Love? Toleration? I'm sure it's the ability to feel, for everyone "feels". But I sense something savage with this situation I am in. People are different when they don't get fed, when they don't get attention, when they are always harassed, when they are forced to fend for themselves, and at such a young age, it almost makes a small amount of children uncontrollable. In this case, I am saying savage as an adjective, which is how I feel some of the youth I have to deal with are acting:

           SAVAGE (ADJ) - Fierce, violent, and uncontrolled

                                                                                (Google Search "Definition of Savage")

                Don't get me wrong, they aren't all like this. There are wonderful youth here. As a matter of fact, I feel blessed to have them all in my life.

EVERY.LAST.ONE

                It's heart breaking to hear about some of the backgrounds they come from. And sometimes it makes me feel powerless. And sometimes, as all parents probably also do around their children, I have lost my patience with a few. I never thought I would yell at a child to stop their behavior, and stop to listen to myself and how angry I sounded. Or step in the middle of a pushing fight which almost turned really violent and try to get the two kids to settle their differences and try to work out some peace. And often I get no response. The policy we have at the Boys & Girls Club is to send children home when they don't want to listen, or behave with the rules that the Boys & Girls Club has set up, or start a violent act toward another kid. I worry about what happens when they leave that door. I fear for children who fall through the cracks. I fear for children in violent situations, abusive families, or families surrounded by alcohol and drugs.

                I have to pray, and pray hard for the Lord to lend me strength. And I have to pray hard for the Lord to lend these youth strength, the very young, to the young adults. I ask you to pray for the youth of this world. Pray for them as often as you can. They are the future. They are the future of the place you live in, the electricity filtering from the wires, the technology we have to help us live longer, the hands behind the working cyberspace, the shield behind counties defenses, the doctors, politicians, soldiers, janitors, electricians, plumbers. They make our coffee, our cars, our clothes. They grow and hunt our food. And if you don't look at a child and see the future of the world in their eyes, in their hearts, I beg you to look closer. What happens when we are old? What happens when we can no longer care for ourselves? What happens when our lives rely on them to grow up, find freedom, find destiny, find lifestyle.

                True, the world is in God's hands, but remember:

"The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body."                                 ~1 Corinthians 12:12

                If we aren't treating the body correctly, raising it properly, teaching it, how are we treating ourselves? If we are bullies, vicious toward one another, violent, savage, how are we treating ourselves. If we don't look into the eyes of every youth on this planet and see the body of our survival, the body of our future, how are we treating ourselves? It is like trying to pick up a cup, but ignoring the fact that we have hands. It is like wanting to smell something but forgetting that we have a nose.

                If we are not trying to raise up the future, what are we doing to it? Truly I tell you, we are causing the body death.

+PeAcE+

Storm of the Century

So this week was supposed to be a video blog. So here it is. The first was recorded on Tuesday:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibR39JNoIm0&feature=related

The second is a special I did, recorded yesterday:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IHxRImPCEw

+PeAcE+

November the 5th

Remember, remember, the 5th of November
The Gunpowder Treason and plot ;
I know of no reason why Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.

Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes,
'Twas his intent.
To blow up the King and the Parliament.
Three score barrels of powder below.
Poor old England to overthrow.
By God's providence he was catch'd,
With a dark lantern and burning match

Holloa boys, Holloa boys, let the bells ring
Holloa boys, Holloa boys, God save the King!

Hip hip Hoorah !
Hip hip Hoorah !

A penny loaf to feed ol'Pope,
A farthing cheese to choke him.
A pint of beer to rinse it down,
A faggot of sticks to burn him.
Burn him in a tub of tar,'
Burn him like a blazing star.
Burn his body from his head,
Then we'll say: ol'Pope is dead.

       On November the 5th, 1605 Guy Fawkes sought out to blow up King James I within the House of Lords (AKA the Parliament House).  He was caught guarding the gunpowder laid beneath and was executed. Since then in England it this night has been called Bonfire Night in honor to commemorate the failed attempt at the assassination. Though, if this assassination had taken place, one could theorize the events that would follow. New order, new policies, a new king, and more importantly to those who conspired to carry out the plot, the return of the Catholic Monarchy. You can find the article (as best as can be found as any internet source, but not fully trusted) here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guy_Fawkes

      I was introduced to this day by the movie V for Vendetta. If you haven't seen the movie, it takes place in the future where most of the world has been wrought in chaos except for the UK which now is under Fascist rule. The movie follows two characters, V, the protagonist, and Evey, a person who gets caught up in V's conspiracy to carry out what Guy Fawkes once sought out to do. Don't worry, this Blog is spoiler free in case those who are reading have not seen the movie. WATCH IT!!!

     There are many scenes in the movie that become food for thought, one such scenes is this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1ikQQk8cJQ

       When I first saw this part of the movie it got me thinking. There is a lot of injustice, but there is an awful lot of brainwashing that goes on too and it happens right under our noses. All day long our minds are polluted and infiltrated by what you can find in the media: Magazines like Cosmopolitan and Maxim, TV shows that promote that sex and parties are the only way to live, and music that encompasses everything the TV shows and Magazines have, and we tend to hear those lyrics also.

       The truth is, and as sad as I am to say, the media has the world under their thumb, we are slaves to it and henceforth slaves to the infiltration of immorality. Those are strong words that may hit home for a lot; when we make choices and decisions that strip us of purity and innocence. We are all guilty of it, even me. When I saw this movie I felt that it was pointing out that there is something direly wrong with the world when we all allow these infiltrations to continue. Sometimes we don't even realize that it's changing our minds and our hearts.

      For some reason, and a very long shot from V's speech, I heard a second voice speaking, one saying...

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."                      Romans 12:2


        V and Guy sought not to conform to the incoming world, that it would strip them of what they held dear, that it would extinguish everything around them. If the Gunpowder Treason had been successful, where would we be? If we were to dissolve those things that create our mind changes to immorality, where would we be? What kind of world would we be in?

        I can't say, but it makes me think. Those are my thoughts anyway. For me, spirituality is a struggle, a struggle of correcting myself and trying to walk closer and closer in His footprints. Christ and V both sought freedom from injustice and the things of the world that enslaved the human mind and heart, things that constantly caused people to make the wrong choices. It makes me question myself and my actions.

      What does it do for you?

+PeAcE+

The hard part about being spiritual and a missionary

      This is going to be a rather strange entry, but it's something that's been on my mind for awhile and I realize that this may all come off as rather tense and snappy (although I pray you all can see, or try to see, where I am coming from!). In this day and age, and as I have noticed since I started trying to follow in my Lord's footsteps in 11th grade, being religious and spiritual may have an awesome reward at the end, and it may bring a person a bunch of really awesome experiences, but it also comes with a lot of baggage. Well, Christ never said it would be easy!
       Growing up I always had trouble with acceptance. Personally, I wanted to be true to myself, but I never really liked it completely because being true to myself, BEING myself, always caused me to be at the bottom of the social latter. I was harassed, bullied, made fun of a lot in Elementary School, in High School I was accepted by a very VERY small crowd, and in college I just couldn't cut it with the lifestyle, mostly because of my religion and spirituality. As a side note, just because I feel I need to say it for some reason, I had long term girlfriends, but once those were over, dating was hard. Mostly because I tried hard to narrow the radius to believers, because faith is THAT important to me. This isn't a look to the past however, this is a look at the present AND a glimpse into the future.
       Honestly, and unfortunately, being spiritual and religious has it's down sides. A person can communicate with anyone, be friends with anyone, but that person needs to try to show them faith and Christ as we were told to do in the great commission. That also makes dating that much more difficult, because for me, if someone is not strengthening my faith, it can't be for Him, which my life should be for. And it works both ways, if I'm not trying to strengthen their faith, I'm not being very good either. That's only one part of the baggage.
       The other part are all the negative stereotypes that come with being religious and spiritual. The Bible has a lot of rules laid out, "footsteps" as I like to call them that Christ want's us to walk. Everyone knows the stereotypes that are always said about people that try their hardest to follow in these footsteps. Some common ones I hear are: They can't sleep with anyone until they are married, they can't go out and drink, they can't take a lot of conversations well because they will always try to throw God in the mix and they end up making everyone mad, and the one I hate the most, "they are hypocritical scum". That's not to say some Christians have done all these, we are HUMAN! Apparently, as I have witnessed through a lot of my walk, these stereotypes have made me less fun to be around, and has really narrowed my social playing field
       So after wanting to be accepted by society I found myself more caste away. Now that I am a missionary, it has another piece of baggage. Face it, religious and spiritual people that try their hardest to follow a moral path and try to serve and help others as much as possible make people feel guilty just by their very presence. I haven't felt this in EVERY social circle I've walked in, but I've felt it in the majority of them. And now as a missionary, there is even more of a threat.
        Here in Nome, a good deal of the first missionaries here really messed up the culture here. A good deal of the missionaries outlawed the Inupiaq and Yupik languages, and punished youth when they spoke in their native tongue. Also, their native dances were designated as evil and "devil worship" worthy. At least that is what I have come to understand by spending time with the Elders here in the village. I have seen a lot of these native dances here, and they tell stories. I don't see anything evil about them. It makes me furious to know that Christian's have done terrible things, but I am also aware that all faiths have dark areas, and to believe that they all don't is blind.
       My point is, I hear a lot of good things from people back home that it's great what I'm doing, but there is a great deal of tension with just being a missionary. I know other missionaries in other countries under a very similar program to my own (working with a non-profit organization) who have had their lives threatened just for their beliefs. Here in Nome, my motives and reason I am here is always in question and close watch. Not only am I not completely accepted for my beliefs in culture, but it is even more dangerous that I am a missionary, and advocate for justice and the walk with God.
       But hold these statements I have said, for there are great blessing that come with each one. If I had not followed the path I have, I believe I would not have gained such emotionally close friendships and relationships through my walk. I know I can love and be loved (though certain "kinds" of love are hard to come by for me). Another blessing is that I have seen different worlds, seen different ways of life, encountered people along the way that truly showed me glimpses of heaven. I saw those glimpses in the walls of St. Stephen's UMC, through the ministry of the Jeremiah Project and Appalachian Service Project, in the eyes and hearts of the people of Sierra Leone, and yes, I see it here in Nome as well.
      Being religious, spiritual and a missionary are the best choices I have ever made. No, just trying my absolute hardest to follow Christ has been the best choice I have ever made.

"The world will be fed not by the bread of man, but by the bread of God."

      I have been fed so much, and I walk so I can continue to feed, lest I parish bodily and spiritually. 

+PeAcE+

Video Blog, Episode 4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-KL6AjTRz4

Feeling Better

      I suppose I should write about my health since some of you may be wondering how I am doing. The respiratory and nasal problems are all gone for the most part. I'm still taking Mucinex DM until the box is empty just to be on the safe side. I've also started taking a pill of 1000 IUs of Vitamin D everyday. I've heard that around here it's very important to get plenty of D, even when it's not total darkness most of the day. The weather can really take a toll on a person as you can imagine, so I need to keep an eye on my health better.
      Other then that I've only got one more bottle of Celexia (clinical depression medication), so I'll have to get more refills in the future, especially with the harsh winter coming up and complete darkness this place is said to become rather depressing. I'm keeping my spirits up however, and trying my hardest to be active in the community.
       We were all told that the first three months of our service are the hardest. I for one have experienced this on the ground of physical health. And because of that I've had less chances over the past month and a half to be out in the community because I was feeling so bad. I'm praying though, and I realize that this is my first month here, that things will start to get better.
       One issue I've always had in life is dealing with patience. I personally am a very impatient person to be honest and I want things to happen fast. I don't know if this is because of the fast paced life style of Northern Virginia, but I have a feeling that could play a part in it. The one thing about missionaries is that they have to adapt, and adapt quickly.
        I have not yet gotten the respect of the youth around here, and I have a long way to go in that area. The majority of the youth here end up raising themselves and have no respect for elders, people older then them, or authority. I suppose no discipline has been carried out. It's sad, but it will take time to get to where God needs me to be with these youth.
        All in all, I'm feeling better in health and remaining optimistic. I'm doing my absolute hardest to find the silver lining in everything. Optimism goes a long way in the midst of struggle.

+PeAcE+

Advocacy Issue #1 : Alcohol

        HI ALL! Since I have been here in Nome for a month in a half now, I've been soaking in all the different things that the people live with here in this northern city. Other then the freezing temperatures, crazy weather and harsh winters one of the great issues that is hard to battle here in Nome is the situation involving alcohol. After living here for a bit, I for one can see and feel the hardships alcohol abuse can cause on individuals, families, social circles, employment, economy, the whole system.
       There is a significant amount of alcohol abuse here in Nome, which is also might I add, one of first things I heard about Nome before I ended up moving here. One of the first nights living here in the city, I took a walk down the shore as far as I could before the tide was no longer rolling up the sandy ground, but crashing against the rocks. I made a stop at a gas station and then made my way walking back to my apartment. The road I walked is called Front St. and it is the oldest road in Nome, and the home of the bars here in the city. Walking down I had many encounters with sights of people unable to even keep their feet as they made their ways out of bars and people who I could tell were homeless that were in the same condition.

        These people I see are fathers, brothers, sons, cousins, nephews, members of someone's family. And with that known, I hear about many situations where children suffer family problems because of drinking and families being torn apart because of alcohol addiction. Here, it's part of normal life for the town. Personally, I have not been able to imagine an issue like this just being "part of life" before I moved here to Nome. After this realization I felt very sheltered, but also, I feel spiritually grown. I indeed thank God that he has brought an experience to me that has brought about a new way of thinking.

        The social justice issue here is that the bars bring in a lot of money, money that does filter back into the economy of Nome. The issue I have is that IT'S BARS! It's a vicious cycle, a cycle hard to beat. Recently, the PFD (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alaska_Permanent_Fund_Dividend) checks were released to Alaskan residents. Once the residents received this check, a great number of people from the local villages and people in Nome end up blowing the entire check on alcohol. You see the problem here?
         It's a problem that has made me feel smaller. Because of this issue here in the city, and because I am a missionary and person after the Lord's heart I have had to set up boundaries for living. I have not been able to bring myself to go into bars, or even be seen with alcohol. The United Methodist Church states that it "affirms our long-standing support of abstinence from alcohol as a faithful witness to God's liberating and redeeming love for persons." On top of this there are a series of scriptures that go against drinking alcohol:
           Genesis 9:20-26

          Genesis 19:30-38
          Leviticus 10:9-11
          Numbers 6:3

              These are all good examples of what alcohol does to family, judgement, and in terms of holy ritual.

          Matthew 24:48-51

          Luke 12:45

               These are words of Jesus Christ that mention drinking being a problem.

          If you would like more resources, and I mean scriptures to look at and not break down sentences of scripture, I found this site: http://www.scionofzion.com/drinking.htm. Again, I didn't look at the websites break down of the scripture, I just looked at the scripture myself to see what it is telling me. 

           Alcohol abuse is a societal issue, but it is also an addiction. Addictions can be passed down through bloodlines, and this makes the future of some even harder. I ask for your prayers for those that struggle with this battle or who may struggle with it in the future. 

+PeAcE+

Video Blog Episode 3

Better late then never.

Here is the link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKh_UWvX99A

Self Care

       HI ALL! Let's talk about self care shall we?
       So most of you know that I've been sick for about three weeks now. I think I may have had strep and pneumonia  all at once (I'm no doctor), but either way, it's now become a respiratory and nasal infection! After going back to the doctors on Thursday I was finally given an anti-biotic to fight this fiend. I'm doing better now, people here have been telling me that I seem more like myself! If I didn't mention, I couldn't hear in one ear for about two weeks, and I can hear now. I have a follow up appointment with the Audiologist on Monday. Unfortunately, these hospital bills are going to be quite costly! This brings me to the important topic of self care.
       You see, during Missionary Training we were told the importance of self care; mentally, emotionally and physically. I sure have been handling the mental and emotional portion okay, so don't worry about that. The physical bit not so much. I was exercising regularly, but not dressing right, and I may not have been eating right either. Since this is my first time living on my own, AND I don't have a room mate to keep an eye on my might I add, it's been quite trialing learning how to stay healthy in terms of diet and, need I say, adapting to the Alaskan Environment!
        I'm learning now, but I can't express enough how important these aspects are, especially in an area that isn't self-sufficient at all! I only mention the self-sufficiency bit because, being so far up north, everything is imported. Because of this, everything is more expensive, EVEN DOCTOR VISITS! If you live alone, it's better to buy things that will keep you healthy then pay for doctor bills, this is true. So now that I know, I have to toughen up a bit, start really paying attention to my diet, bundle up, and take better physical care of myself.
        I've been staying in mostly because breathing in the cold causes the mucus to solidify and makes my chest tight, so I can't be out too much. Good thing I got my desktop with video games and I have plenty of reading material, I've been keeping myself busy. Don't worry though, I've got plans for the future as I plan to try to be doing something every night of the week except for Saturdays, those days are sacred to me.
        So remember, physical health is just as important as mental and emotional health. They all work hand in hand:

       “Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's.”
                                                                                                              ~2 Corinthians 6:19–20~

+PeAcE+