Not too sure how this one will fly?

What do I say about how I am handling this situation?

                                                                                   Hopeful?

                                                                       Heartbroken?     Lost?

                                                                                  Prayerful?

                                                                                  Helpless?

                                                                                  Stronger?

                Yes, Stronger. I feel stronger from this situation. Or at least I know this situation will make me stronger. And God willing, it will make these youth stronger as well.

                I feel for these youth, I really do. A good number raise themselves. I suppose this plays a big role in their behavioral development. Some don't like talking when something is wrong, like they are taught to hide their emotions. Every one of them always tries to act tough. Most of them come from broken homes. It effects them and it effects me severely. I can say I have "sympathy pains" for them. Usually when I hear people use this phrase, it's after someone takes some bodily injury in a very painful fashion and those people who spectate can "feel" how that pain felt. Emotionally, it's something deeper.  I could say that "sympathy pains" have always been something that stick with me. I'm not sure what everyone else's opinions are on "sympathy pains", but for me it plays a big role in my spirituality. Those pains make me feel alive, thankful... human. I'm not saying that's what they really are, that the ability to feel "sympathy pains" MAKES a person human, it's just what makes ME feel human. For me, they make me feel connected to the people around me. A connection I cannot understand or explain without referring to God, the creator, the ever-moving force all around us. I hope you understand.

                But then what is humanity? What is humane? Is it Love? Toleration? I'm sure it's the ability to feel, for everyone "feels". But I sense something savage with this situation I am in. People are different when they don't get fed, when they don't get attention, when they are always harassed, when they are forced to fend for themselves, and at such a young age, it almost makes a small amount of children uncontrollable. In this case, I am saying savage as an adjective, which is how I feel some of the youth I have to deal with are acting:

           SAVAGE (ADJ) - Fierce, violent, and uncontrolled

                                                                                (Google Search "Definition of Savage")

                Don't get me wrong, they aren't all like this. There are wonderful youth here. As a matter of fact, I feel blessed to have them all in my life.

EVERY.LAST.ONE

                It's heart breaking to hear about some of the backgrounds they come from. And sometimes it makes me feel powerless. And sometimes, as all parents probably also do around their children, I have lost my patience with a few. I never thought I would yell at a child to stop their behavior, and stop to listen to myself and how angry I sounded. Or step in the middle of a pushing fight which almost turned really violent and try to get the two kids to settle their differences and try to work out some peace. And often I get no response. The policy we have at the Boys & Girls Club is to send children home when they don't want to listen, or behave with the rules that the Boys & Girls Club has set up, or start a violent act toward another kid. I worry about what happens when they leave that door. I fear for children who fall through the cracks. I fear for children in violent situations, abusive families, or families surrounded by alcohol and drugs.

                I have to pray, and pray hard for the Lord to lend me strength. And I have to pray hard for the Lord to lend these youth strength, the very young, to the young adults. I ask you to pray for the youth of this world. Pray for them as often as you can. They are the future. They are the future of the place you live in, the electricity filtering from the wires, the technology we have to help us live longer, the hands behind the working cyberspace, the shield behind counties defenses, the doctors, politicians, soldiers, janitors, electricians, plumbers. They make our coffee, our cars, our clothes. They grow and hunt our food. And if you don't look at a child and see the future of the world in their eyes, in their hearts, I beg you to look closer. What happens when we are old? What happens when we can no longer care for ourselves? What happens when our lives rely on them to grow up, find freedom, find destiny, find lifestyle.

                True, the world is in God's hands, but remember:

"The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body."                                 ~1 Corinthians 12:12

                If we aren't treating the body correctly, raising it properly, teaching it, how are we treating ourselves? If we are bullies, vicious toward one another, violent, savage, how are we treating ourselves. If we don't look into the eyes of every youth on this planet and see the body of our survival, the body of our future, how are we treating ourselves? It is like trying to pick up a cup, but ignoring the fact that we have hands. It is like wanting to smell something but forgetting that we have a nose.

                If we are not trying to raise up the future, what are we doing to it? Truly I tell you, we are causing the body death.

+PeAcE+

Storm of the Century

So this week was supposed to be a video blog. So here it is. The first was recorded on Tuesday:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibR39JNoIm0&feature=related

The second is a special I did, recorded yesterday:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IHxRImPCEw

+PeAcE+

November the 5th

Remember, remember, the 5th of November
The Gunpowder Treason and plot ;
I know of no reason why Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.

Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes,
'Twas his intent.
To blow up the King and the Parliament.
Three score barrels of powder below.
Poor old England to overthrow.
By God's providence he was catch'd,
With a dark lantern and burning match

Holloa boys, Holloa boys, let the bells ring
Holloa boys, Holloa boys, God save the King!

Hip hip Hoorah !
Hip hip Hoorah !

A penny loaf to feed ol'Pope,
A farthing cheese to choke him.
A pint of beer to rinse it down,
A faggot of sticks to burn him.
Burn him in a tub of tar,'
Burn him like a blazing star.
Burn his body from his head,
Then we'll say: ol'Pope is dead.

       On November the 5th, 1605 Guy Fawkes sought out to blow up King James I within the House of Lords (AKA the Parliament House).  He was caught guarding the gunpowder laid beneath and was executed. Since then in England it this night has been called Bonfire Night in honor to commemorate the failed attempt at the assassination. Though, if this assassination had taken place, one could theorize the events that would follow. New order, new policies, a new king, and more importantly to those who conspired to carry out the plot, the return of the Catholic Monarchy. You can find the article (as best as can be found as any internet source, but not fully trusted) here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guy_Fawkes

      I was introduced to this day by the movie V for Vendetta. If you haven't seen the movie, it takes place in the future where most of the world has been wrought in chaos except for the UK which now is under Fascist rule. The movie follows two characters, V, the protagonist, and Evey, a person who gets caught up in V's conspiracy to carry out what Guy Fawkes once sought out to do. Don't worry, this Blog is spoiler free in case those who are reading have not seen the movie. WATCH IT!!!

     There are many scenes in the movie that become food for thought, one such scenes is this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1ikQQk8cJQ

       When I first saw this part of the movie it got me thinking. There is a lot of injustice, but there is an awful lot of brainwashing that goes on too and it happens right under our noses. All day long our minds are polluted and infiltrated by what you can find in the media: Magazines like Cosmopolitan and Maxim, TV shows that promote that sex and parties are the only way to live, and music that encompasses everything the TV shows and Magazines have, and we tend to hear those lyrics also.

       The truth is, and as sad as I am to say, the media has the world under their thumb, we are slaves to it and henceforth slaves to the infiltration of immorality. Those are strong words that may hit home for a lot; when we make choices and decisions that strip us of purity and innocence. We are all guilty of it, even me. When I saw this movie I felt that it was pointing out that there is something direly wrong with the world when we all allow these infiltrations to continue. Sometimes we don't even realize that it's changing our minds and our hearts.

      For some reason, and a very long shot from V's speech, I heard a second voice speaking, one saying...

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."                      Romans 12:2


        V and Guy sought not to conform to the incoming world, that it would strip them of what they held dear, that it would extinguish everything around them. If the Gunpowder Treason had been successful, where would we be? If we were to dissolve those things that create our mind changes to immorality, where would we be? What kind of world would we be in?

        I can't say, but it makes me think. Those are my thoughts anyway. For me, spirituality is a struggle, a struggle of correcting myself and trying to walk closer and closer in His footprints. Christ and V both sought freedom from injustice and the things of the world that enslaved the human mind and heart, things that constantly caused people to make the wrong choices. It makes me question myself and my actions.

      What does it do for you?

+PeAcE+

The hard part about being spiritual and a missionary

      This is going to be a rather strange entry, but it's something that's been on my mind for awhile and I realize that this may all come off as rather tense and snappy (although I pray you all can see, or try to see, where I am coming from!). In this day and age, and as I have noticed since I started trying to follow in my Lord's footsteps in 11th grade, being religious and spiritual may have an awesome reward at the end, and it may bring a person a bunch of really awesome experiences, but it also comes with a lot of baggage. Well, Christ never said it would be easy!
       Growing up I always had trouble with acceptance. Personally, I wanted to be true to myself, but I never really liked it completely because being true to myself, BEING myself, always caused me to be at the bottom of the social latter. I was harassed, bullied, made fun of a lot in Elementary School, in High School I was accepted by a very VERY small crowd, and in college I just couldn't cut it with the lifestyle, mostly because of my religion and spirituality. As a side note, just because I feel I need to say it for some reason, I had long term girlfriends, but once those were over, dating was hard. Mostly because I tried hard to narrow the radius to believers, because faith is THAT important to me. This isn't a look to the past however, this is a look at the present AND a glimpse into the future.
       Honestly, and unfortunately, being spiritual and religious has it's down sides. A person can communicate with anyone, be friends with anyone, but that person needs to try to show them faith and Christ as we were told to do in the great commission. That also makes dating that much more difficult, because for me, if someone is not strengthening my faith, it can't be for Him, which my life should be for. And it works both ways, if I'm not trying to strengthen their faith, I'm not being very good either. That's only one part of the baggage.
       The other part are all the negative stereotypes that come with being religious and spiritual. The Bible has a lot of rules laid out, "footsteps" as I like to call them that Christ want's us to walk. Everyone knows the stereotypes that are always said about people that try their hardest to follow in these footsteps. Some common ones I hear are: They can't sleep with anyone until they are married, they can't go out and drink, they can't take a lot of conversations well because they will always try to throw God in the mix and they end up making everyone mad, and the one I hate the most, "they are hypocritical scum". That's not to say some Christians have done all these, we are HUMAN! Apparently, as I have witnessed through a lot of my walk, these stereotypes have made me less fun to be around, and has really narrowed my social playing field
       So after wanting to be accepted by society I found myself more caste away. Now that I am a missionary, it has another piece of baggage. Face it, religious and spiritual people that try their hardest to follow a moral path and try to serve and help others as much as possible make people feel guilty just by their very presence. I haven't felt this in EVERY social circle I've walked in, but I've felt it in the majority of them. And now as a missionary, there is even more of a threat.
        Here in Nome, a good deal of the first missionaries here really messed up the culture here. A good deal of the missionaries outlawed the Inupiaq and Yupik languages, and punished youth when they spoke in their native tongue. Also, their native dances were designated as evil and "devil worship" worthy. At least that is what I have come to understand by spending time with the Elders here in the village. I have seen a lot of these native dances here, and they tell stories. I don't see anything evil about them. It makes me furious to know that Christian's have done terrible things, but I am also aware that all faiths have dark areas, and to believe that they all don't is blind.
       My point is, I hear a lot of good things from people back home that it's great what I'm doing, but there is a great deal of tension with just being a missionary. I know other missionaries in other countries under a very similar program to my own (working with a non-profit organization) who have had their lives threatened just for their beliefs. Here in Nome, my motives and reason I am here is always in question and close watch. Not only am I not completely accepted for my beliefs in culture, but it is even more dangerous that I am a missionary, and advocate for justice and the walk with God.
       But hold these statements I have said, for there are great blessing that come with each one. If I had not followed the path I have, I believe I would not have gained such emotionally close friendships and relationships through my walk. I know I can love and be loved (though certain "kinds" of love are hard to come by for me). Another blessing is that I have seen different worlds, seen different ways of life, encountered people along the way that truly showed me glimpses of heaven. I saw those glimpses in the walls of St. Stephen's UMC, through the ministry of the Jeremiah Project and Appalachian Service Project, in the eyes and hearts of the people of Sierra Leone, and yes, I see it here in Nome as well.
      Being religious, spiritual and a missionary are the best choices I have ever made. No, just trying my absolute hardest to follow Christ has been the best choice I have ever made.

"The world will be fed not by the bread of man, but by the bread of God."

      I have been fed so much, and I walk so I can continue to feed, lest I parish bodily and spiritually. 

+PeAcE+