The hard part about being spiritual and a missionary

      This is going to be a rather strange entry, but it's something that's been on my mind for awhile and I realize that this may all come off as rather tense and snappy (although I pray you all can see, or try to see, where I am coming from!). In this day and age, and as I have noticed since I started trying to follow in my Lord's footsteps in 11th grade, being religious and spiritual may have an awesome reward at the end, and it may bring a person a bunch of really awesome experiences, but it also comes with a lot of baggage. Well, Christ never said it would be easy!
       Growing up I always had trouble with acceptance. Personally, I wanted to be true to myself, but I never really liked it completely because being true to myself, BEING myself, always caused me to be at the bottom of the social latter. I was harassed, bullied, made fun of a lot in Elementary School, in High School I was accepted by a very VERY small crowd, and in college I just couldn't cut it with the lifestyle, mostly because of my religion and spirituality. As a side note, just because I feel I need to say it for some reason, I had long term girlfriends, but once those were over, dating was hard. Mostly because I tried hard to narrow the radius to believers, because faith is THAT important to me. This isn't a look to the past however, this is a look at the present AND a glimpse into the future.
       Honestly, and unfortunately, being spiritual and religious has it's down sides. A person can communicate with anyone, be friends with anyone, but that person needs to try to show them faith and Christ as we were told to do in the great commission. That also makes dating that much more difficult, because for me, if someone is not strengthening my faith, it can't be for Him, which my life should be for. And it works both ways, if I'm not trying to strengthen their faith, I'm not being very good either. That's only one part of the baggage.
       The other part are all the negative stereotypes that come with being religious and spiritual. The Bible has a lot of rules laid out, "footsteps" as I like to call them that Christ want's us to walk. Everyone knows the stereotypes that are always said about people that try their hardest to follow in these footsteps. Some common ones I hear are: They can't sleep with anyone until they are married, they can't go out and drink, they can't take a lot of conversations well because they will always try to throw God in the mix and they end up making everyone mad, and the one I hate the most, "they are hypocritical scum". That's not to say some Christians have done all these, we are HUMAN! Apparently, as I have witnessed through a lot of my walk, these stereotypes have made me less fun to be around, and has really narrowed my social playing field
       So after wanting to be accepted by society I found myself more caste away. Now that I am a missionary, it has another piece of baggage. Face it, religious and spiritual people that try their hardest to follow a moral path and try to serve and help others as much as possible make people feel guilty just by their very presence. I haven't felt this in EVERY social circle I've walked in, but I've felt it in the majority of them. And now as a missionary, there is even more of a threat.
        Here in Nome, a good deal of the first missionaries here really messed up the culture here. A good deal of the missionaries outlawed the Inupiaq and Yupik languages, and punished youth when they spoke in their native tongue. Also, their native dances were designated as evil and "devil worship" worthy. At least that is what I have come to understand by spending time with the Elders here in the village. I have seen a lot of these native dances here, and they tell stories. I don't see anything evil about them. It makes me furious to know that Christian's have done terrible things, but I am also aware that all faiths have dark areas, and to believe that they all don't is blind.
       My point is, I hear a lot of good things from people back home that it's great what I'm doing, but there is a great deal of tension with just being a missionary. I know other missionaries in other countries under a very similar program to my own (working with a non-profit organization) who have had their lives threatened just for their beliefs. Here in Nome, my motives and reason I am here is always in question and close watch. Not only am I not completely accepted for my beliefs in culture, but it is even more dangerous that I am a missionary, and advocate for justice and the walk with God.
       But hold these statements I have said, for there are great blessing that come with each one. If I had not followed the path I have, I believe I would not have gained such emotionally close friendships and relationships through my walk. I know I can love and be loved (though certain "kinds" of love are hard to come by for me). Another blessing is that I have seen different worlds, seen different ways of life, encountered people along the way that truly showed me glimpses of heaven. I saw those glimpses in the walls of St. Stephen's UMC, through the ministry of the Jeremiah Project and Appalachian Service Project, in the eyes and hearts of the people of Sierra Leone, and yes, I see it here in Nome as well.
      Being religious, spiritual and a missionary are the best choices I have ever made. No, just trying my absolute hardest to follow Christ has been the best choice I have ever made.

"The world will be fed not by the bread of man, but by the bread of God."

      I have been fed so much, and I walk so I can continue to feed, lest I parish bodily and spiritually. 

+PeAcE+