Tomorrow the Adventure Begins

                Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow my flight leaves at 7:55am for Nome and the Northern Adventure officially begins. I believe I have all my bags are packed, I don’t think I’m leaving anything out. I have several other items that are off to the side at home that will be shipped out to me. Other then that I should have enough clothes so I won’t have to buy any in the next two years (hopefully), but looking at the number of clothes I have, it doesn’t look like all that much. Packing as light as possible is just what missionaries have to do. I believe I have packed as light as possible and as least needy as possible. I have stuff for my apartment and my laptop. The only thing I’m really going to need to make sure I have is internet access from my apartment.

                Mentally I’m at the state where I just don’t know what to say right now. I’m practically speechless about all this. The opportunity, the blessing, the welcoming, the sweet goodbyes, it’s been making me absolutely speechless. Since I won’t be in Northern Virginia for two years, I’m already itching to know what it’s going to be like here in 2013 when my term is up. I suppose that is just from interacting with everyone the last couple days. I’m really going to miss them.

 My friends and family have been super awesome toward me and I am truly grateful for everything they have done for me and all the wonderful support I have had from them over the years. It’s hard leaving people I really care about, really hard, especially today when it has fully sunk in that I’m not going to be able to see them as much as I would like to. Each day I will pray for them, and give thanks for my time with them before this huge transition. I realize I am truly blessed to know so many people from so many different walks of life, and I can say that they still walk with me. It’s interesting how a person’s personality is formulated by those around them. Cherish all your connections, good and bad, they make you who you are.

                I am planning to remain posting blogs every Wednesday and Thursday and every two weeks I will be posting a video blog via YouTube. As a missionary it’s important to stay connected with people back home and people who can help you when you are having rough times. I’ll be posting more soon and I’ll talk to you all next from my new home in Nome!

Earthquakes and Hurricans

Do you ever feel like your life is just full of chaos sometimes?
      I find it rather surprising that the week before I leave, my hometown suffers from a 5.9 Magnitude Earthquake and Category 2/3 Hurricane named Irene! It really put more things into perspective. I'll be leaving behind a life that will go on without me. A life that could be filled with disaster (although I hope not!). My family, friends and church are all being left behind possibly to some natural disaster (and here is to hoping that there will never be a man made one!). I suppose what it boils down to is the true calling.
      Many have asked me, "Why do this?" and I am sure I have talked about this before. Why leave my hometown to live in a kind-of impoverished lifestyle where I will be making no money and can't guarantee that I'll be well taken care of? I've had people talk to me as if I am totally giving up my life and walking straight into perpetual future suicide! I am okay with that though. In my heart, I know what I NEED to do, and sometimes, what someone NEEDS to do is not always easy to do, heck, sometimes what NEEDS to be done is something people just DON'T WANT TO DO!
     Here is the reality:
          In a perfect world:
                    We wouldn't need missionaries
                    We wouldn't need militaries
                    And we wouldn't need therapies
     Does that makes sense? In a perfect world there would be no pain, no need to reach out and help people who fall by the wayside and are smashed in by the world around them (whatever does the smashing), and there would be no need to spill blood (and honestly, WE DON'T NEED TO IN THE FIRST PLACE! There are better ways to deal with things then bloodshed). The problem is this world isn't perfect at all. God knows this, and we as His people, His creation, His ambassadors of this world need to realize that the world isn't going to be perfect. God knows the world has problems, problems that He meant us to sort out. People need to stop looking up, people need to take their heads out of the sand and realize what is going on around them. This world does not belong to us, it belongs to God, and look what we as human kind have done to it!
       So why do this? There was a saying at the end of one of my favorite movies, The Boondock Saints, that made a lot of sense. The Saint's Father sat them down in a room and asked them, "Do you possess the constitution, the depth of faith, to go as far as is needed?" This isn't to say I'm going to live out my faith like the Saints did, I'm not about to go out and buy weapons and "kill all that is evil so that the good may flourish." No, no... But what I will not do is stand by and see a world crumbling around me and do nothing about it. I live here too. You live here. We all live here and what exactly do we need to do to make this world better for us, and better for Him?

One Week Left

                HI ALL! So the blog is late today, I’ve been trying to be good by posting them at 11am on Wednesday and 11pm on Saturday (or as close as I can get it) so they are spaced out equally (or as equally as I can get them) during the week. I’m currently writing this blog on the road because we are driving my sister to college. It’s about a 10 hour drive and has been enough to really get me thinking more about my big move next Thursday!

                Next Thursday I will be hopping on a plane to whisk me away on my grand new life in Nome, Alaska! For the most part I have the breadth of my clothes packed, though I’m leaving a lot of my summer wear at home. I’m already one and a half suitcases full! I don’t think I’m packing too heavy, but when I was looking at it the other day, I noticed that everything I packed is for the winter (go figure!) and that stuff is bulky! I am probably going to end up with two suitcases, my carryon, and a large black plastic container. Ball-parking the price I’ll be paying to move is about $120 for all those cases, considering I can keep the black container under 100 lbs. I have to be able to move all in one go without shipping stuff to me (at least that is the plan).

                Apparently shipping things to Nome from Northern Virginia with the dimensions 24x24x24 and 10 lbs costs somewhere in the range of $110 to $300 something! Needless to say, I have to be as cheap as possible. I can’t so much drive up to Nome, if I did, I would have had to leave days ago because it would take about two weeks to get there. The only catch is, YOU CAN’T DRIVE IN! There are no roads into Nome at all, the only access is by sea or air. Also, to add onto this there is also the vow of poverty I have taken.

                I’ve never been a materialistic person in the first place, and there are a number of things I’m leaving behind. If there is anything I am materialistic about, it’s my DVDs, CDs, a collection of Video games and my car.  All of which I am leaving at home! The items I am bringing with me are my collection of Devin Townsend CDs, my favorite movies (The Boondock Saints, Constantine, V for Vendetta and The Book of Eli), my series collection of Firefly (with Serenity), my Lord of the Rings movies, and a couple of other fantasy movies. I’ve also signed onto Netflix so I can watch movies there when I have nothing going on some nights.

                The only thing that will be tricky to ship to Nome is my desktop computer. This is the computer that has my music library on it, and has the capabilities to edit videos, which I will be posting the first one two weeks after I arrive in Nome, keep your eyes open! All things considered, moving thousands of miles away has been slightly stressful. Some days I just want to be there already, but I keep reminding myself that I need to enjoy this time with those I have known here at home because it will be some time before I see them all again.

Bitter Sweet Meetings

                What is left behind as a missionary, and what does it do to the heart? All I have done in life has come to this new opportunity, this dedication and sacrifice to follow Him. Sometimes and for some, the Lord calls someone to go far away from where they live to be a foreigner in a foreign land. Through all things that adds up to this opportunity I look at Mark 1:16-20. In this story Jesus walks up to James and his brother John with their father Zebedee  who were casting their nets into the sea. Jesus then called out to James and John to follow Him, and they went, and they left Zebedee behind. Can you imagine what it feels like to leave behind someone you love (it doesn't have to be a family member) to follow someone unseen physically, but felt spiritually and emotionally?

                It is a hard question, and a tough question to answer. I expect one would say, "That's crazy! Why go and follow something on emotional or a spiritual connection when you aren't certain of security or survival?!". But I expect someone to say, "If you feel strongly and passionate about something, then I can understand why you would do it." But I do not want to put words in the reader's mouth, though I am curious to see what the reader's thoughts are.

                In just twelve days I will be leaving behind my family, my church and my friends to go and live in a new space with completely different things. Today I had an Open House as I have returned from training only a couple days ago. Today I saw a lot of friends that I hung out with, friends from church and some friends who I have not seen in quite awhile. Sitting with them today brought the real fact that I may not be able to see them for quite awhile. Leaving behind people I care about to follow a Lord who I feel passionately will change the world, my life and the lives that surround me. It's a dream come true to be this involved with Him.

                I think that it takes a lot of dedication for someone to come to this point, I know it took me a lot. I'm not expecting the world to wake up tomorrow and see the real pain around the world, and drop what they are doing to help. There is another scripture, Matthew 8:18-22, where Jesus says "let the dead bury their own dead." I believe here Jesus is telling us that following Him should be the number one priority on our list.

                Don't get me wrong, I do love everyone I have known here in Fairfax County, and I cherish the experiences I've had with them (even if there were some really bumpy times, and there were!). I now lift these experiences up as blessings because they have made me who I am. So sitting with many people I have known to this point today really showed me how many different walks of life everyone I know come from, and that fills me with joy. I am blessed to know so many people, and blessed to have had time with them, and I wouldn't take any of it back.

                God, friends, family, thank you for walking with me this far, I love you all. Now I must officially drop these nets of mine in the water and walk a road less traveled, a road filled with mystery, possible danger, new found friendships and love, and I pray, and ask that you continue this walk with me. My prayer is that along this walk, you see Him walking with me. As I have stepped out of my boat, you can be sure I am already holding His hand as I walk down the shore to a new world.

+PeAcE+

Commissioning for Presence

            HI ALL! Today is the last day of training and tomorrow I will be commissioned by the United Methodist Church to be anchored in two years of mission work in Nome, Alaska. I humbly invite you if you are able to watch the US-2 and Mission Intern Commissioning Ceremony tomorrow at 11am Eastern Time via live stream from the General Board of Global Ministries web site here at http://gbgm.org/live. If you wish to come to the Ceremony, the address is 475 Riverside Dr., New York, NY. I ask primarily for your prayers as we all move through this transition.

            I want to take some time in this entry to reflect on my last four entries and how they relate to what training here as taught me. I must confess, through the previous mission trips with the Appalachian Service Project, Jeremiah Project and the Footprints Organization, I had a preconceived notion that mission was doing. Mission was going to a place to repair, rebuild, teach and feed. Let me take you back to the first entry where Mother Teresa told Shane Claiborne “Come as you are”. Allow me to share with you a lesson I learned from Sierra Leone.

           

“The World will be fed not by the bread of man, but by the bread of God.”

                                                                                         

I heard this voice speak this phrase to me the summer prior to going to Sierra Leone in the winter of 2009 and 2010. I did not fully understand what this meant until I was there in the city of Bo within the walls of the Child Rescue Center. As soon as I stepped through the gate of the CRC I was greeted by a child who walked up to me, smiled at me and reached for my hand. The time I spent in the CRC I learned there that it wasn’t my work, but my presence that made the difference. The bread of God isn’t materials, WE ARE the bread of God. Time spent with someone is feeding them: sharing, learning, listening, walking together.

            My time in Nome is a time I have been invited to invest in. I was INVITED to Nome. This sense of invitation has been something I have struggled with for my lifetime. I wasn’t really accepted into the dominant cliques in Elementary School, High School or College (one, because I didn’t want to join a fraternity amongst other reasons). Growing up I was seen as the nerd, the loser, the outcaste. I always had trouble in social settings; I was shy and out casted. Even in terms of more personal relationships, I have been rejected, ignored, unnoticed and unwanted. These ultimately built the issues that brought me to become Clinically Depressed. But along of this I have also accomplished a great deal as I have said in my Accomplishments entry, and those fill my soul with hope.

I have learned through the experiences of my life that it is better and more rewarding to walk the path I have walked. I read recently on a friend’s Facebook:

“I might not be someone's first choice, but I am a great choice. - I may not be rich but I am valuable. - I don't pretend to be someone I'm not, because I'm good at being me. - I might not be proud of some of the things I've done in the past, but I am proud of who I am today. - I may not be perfect but I don't need to be. - Take me as I am, or watch me as I walk away.”

I take that to heart, not only in terms of deeper, more personal and intimate relationships, but also in terms of this mission. I was invited to live in Nome, INVITED. Presence seems to be a larger calling factor then work, being bread. I am truly blessed to have this opportunity that a place that I have never been, a place where I know no one, a place where I have never lived has invited me to live with them. Very rarely have I felt someone reach out to me like that and that kind of acceptance. True, I signed up for this, but during my interview with those I will be working with in Nome, they told me that they were hoping I would grow spiritually during this journey with them.

            I thank God for this dearly. Undoubtedly I will miss the sense of a community like St. Stephen’s wanting me around, and I cherish that sense of invitation that they have always given me, and it seems that staying in a life within the Body of Christ has filled me soul, and taken me out of the dark world of rejection, neglect, absent-mindedness and apathy. I tell you this, so that you may think about what this choice can do for you.

            You do not need to go long distances to be on mission, and once you begin to answer the calls of Christ, He will bless you and guide you to parts of your life that you will treasure. Mission can happen anywhere with anyone you meet. Often it takes going outside of the norm of society, but Romans 12:2 tells us to not be conformed to this world and that we must be renewed. This commitment doesn’t need to be made now. But know that as I have made this commitment, I have achieved wonderful things because of Him, things I would have never imagined or believed I could have achieved, but I believe it now. It CAN happen to you. You just have to allow it to.

+PeAcE+

The Power in the Pocket

                HI ALL!!! I’m still in Stony Point, New York for training, and tomorrow is going to be a pretty big event. I’m giving an itineration speech at Harriman UMC! It’s not typically my thing to ask for money, but there is an importance in doing outreach like this. By doing iteneration speeches, reaching out to churches, and speaking to communities we open up the offer for people to help support Young Adult Missions through the United Methodist Advance. In my last post I spoke a bit about it, and as a US-2 Missionary I ask for your prayers first and foremost, and if you feel led, I ask that you donate toward the advance to help us Young Adult Missionaries around the globe out. You can link on to the website by going to http://new.gbgm-umc.org/Advance/. From there if you want to donate you need to go to the tap “How to Give” click the tab and a sub-window should drop down, then click on “Give Online Now”. On this page there is a spot that reads “Find Project” with a text box next to it. If you type in the number 3021356 and click find you should see my name pop up under the results.

                I do want to talk about the meaning of outreach since I am on the topic. One thing about being a Young Adult Missionary is that I HAVE to get used to asking for money. That’s not to say I should be asking for it excessively, but I do need to get used to asking for it. As it says in the Book of Acts it talks about money being dispersed amongst the community. It also mentions something like this in the Old Testament (though at this current time I cannot remember where, I’ve been trying to look for it). I’m not looking at this from a socio-political sense, but from more of a charitable and organizational sense.

                Unfortunately the world runs on money, and churches need money in order to function on Earth, just like everything else. If there was no money for our churches, it would be hard to run retreats, pay for food, run events, but more importantly, how would the church filter clothing, food, household supplies, personal items, toys and other items to those who can’t afford them? Money can take different forms, but money ultimately is what supplies these things. Now I’m sure a person could say money comes from the people, not the church. That is where it gets tricky.

                The Church is not the building, it’s not the alter, it’s not the shelter. The Church are the people. The people are the ones who make the “Church” possible. Without them, the “Church” itself would be just another building. In other words, the money that gets donated to the church shouldn’t primarily be used to make the Church building with more tech so it can outshine the other church down the street! Heck, at that point someone might as well call the church another rat race business. The fact is, even if that Church does win the race, it’s still a rat! So instead of thinking about all the cool stuff a church could have, let’s all try to think about what a church could do.

                Imagine it! A church that gets the funds to help all those people down a street where people can’t afford food, to fix that hole in the ceiling, to send their kids to school because they can’t afford to pay the money to use the train, or the bus, or a taxi. A church that builds the community, a church that won’t take oppression lightly, won’t let those who are beaten down, pushed aside, those with broken homes because of work, immigration, injury or illness. There are many forms of hope in this world, and the fact is, we all walk around with that hope every day and don’t really notice that we are. That hope is used to purchase big screen TVs, super advanced game systems, fancy cars, Gaudi Houses, drugs, weapons, ammunition, sex and even death. Such a small item has so much power, how often do we all realize it?

                That’s my opinion anyway. Not a guilt trip, not a sermon, just a thought I’ve had for awhile now, and I thought I would share that with you. After All…

                Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Mouths

                +PeAcE+