Bitter Sweet Meetings

                What is left behind as a missionary, and what does it do to the heart? All I have done in life has come to this new opportunity, this dedication and sacrifice to follow Him. Sometimes and for some, the Lord calls someone to go far away from where they live to be a foreigner in a foreign land. Through all things that adds up to this opportunity I look at Mark 1:16-20. In this story Jesus walks up to James and his brother John with their father Zebedee  who were casting their nets into the sea. Jesus then called out to James and John to follow Him, and they went, and they left Zebedee behind. Can you imagine what it feels like to leave behind someone you love (it doesn't have to be a family member) to follow someone unseen physically, but felt spiritually and emotionally?

                It is a hard question, and a tough question to answer. I expect one would say, "That's crazy! Why go and follow something on emotional or a spiritual connection when you aren't certain of security or survival?!". But I expect someone to say, "If you feel strongly and passionate about something, then I can understand why you would do it." But I do not want to put words in the reader's mouth, though I am curious to see what the reader's thoughts are.

                In just twelve days I will be leaving behind my family, my church and my friends to go and live in a new space with completely different things. Today I had an Open House as I have returned from training only a couple days ago. Today I saw a lot of friends that I hung out with, friends from church and some friends who I have not seen in quite awhile. Sitting with them today brought the real fact that I may not be able to see them for quite awhile. Leaving behind people I care about to follow a Lord who I feel passionately will change the world, my life and the lives that surround me. It's a dream come true to be this involved with Him.

                I think that it takes a lot of dedication for someone to come to this point, I know it took me a lot. I'm not expecting the world to wake up tomorrow and see the real pain around the world, and drop what they are doing to help. There is another scripture, Matthew 8:18-22, where Jesus says "let the dead bury their own dead." I believe here Jesus is telling us that following Him should be the number one priority on our list.

                Don't get me wrong, I do love everyone I have known here in Fairfax County, and I cherish the experiences I've had with them (even if there were some really bumpy times, and there were!). I now lift these experiences up as blessings because they have made me who I am. So sitting with many people I have known to this point today really showed me how many different walks of life everyone I know come from, and that fills me with joy. I am blessed to know so many people, and blessed to have had time with them, and I wouldn't take any of it back.

                God, friends, family, thank you for walking with me this far, I love you all. Now I must officially drop these nets of mine in the water and walk a road less traveled, a road filled with mystery, possible danger, new found friendships and love, and I pray, and ask that you continue this walk with me. My prayer is that along this walk, you see Him walking with me. As I have stepped out of my boat, you can be sure I am already holding His hand as I walk down the shore to a new world.

+PeAcE+