Accomplishments

HI ALL!! So I figured I will be posting a blog every Wednesday and Saturday just to keep you all posted on what is going on. So training has been informative and head flooding. I’ve gone to resorting to recording audio files of the sessions so I can listen to them later. Each session is about three hours long, with a two and a half hour break in between. During those breaks I spend time doing afternoon bible devotions and read some of the books I brought with me. The retreat center is in a residential area so we have to walk quite a distance in order to go to any store or anything like that. It’s nice and quite here though, and I am amongst missionary friends. I’ve got a lot on my plate but I’m taking it as it is, and a day at a time.

For the last couple days, because of the stress I’ve been keeping de-stressing thoughts in mind. A lot of the information a future missionary takes in during training can be overwhelming so it’s important to stay on top of self-care. To stay positive I try to remind myself of the things I’ve accomplished even in the midst of hardship, especially because I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression back in January. I know it may seem strange to be so open about this on my second entry, but the truth is, if I’m not truthful with other brothers and sisters out there in the world, how truthful am I being with Him and myself. I came to realize during the winter of 2010 that there were things about myself that I had to battle.

I was fighting with issues of rejection, feeling unloved, unwanted, not attractive, my social had become disheveled as people grew up and started getting married, moved in with significant others, having kids, and I felt like I felt by the wayside. I started attending talk therapy in January and the therapist started walking me through the steps to changing myself. I learned the strategies I needed to start thinking positively, to make healthy choices. I had a Campus Christian Group I was regularly attending during that fall semester, and also gearing up for the US-2 and Mission Intern Interview and discernment days that would soon follow. All were challenging me to become something different.

By the end of that semester, I found out that I had gotten the job to be a US-2 Missionary and I finally graduated from University after eight years of schooling. I remember at one point in my life someone telling my mother that I was going to have a lot of trouble in school, and I believe I even remember someone even saying I wouldn’t graduate college. I also had friends who would constantly tell me that I can’t save the world (even significant others!), that I shouldn’t put so much on my shoulders. When I look back on it now, Hebrews 11:1 says “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” I had a huge hope for finishing college, for finding a job I could apply me desire to help people around me in life changing ways, and to be following Christ in the process.

This also leans back on the two scriptures I posted in my last entry. In my eyes I don’t see Christianity as a crutch, and I’ll explain that to you another day. For now, take these words with you and see how they can apply to yourself. Can you think of a time where you tried to control a situation but not have faith? How did that situation end? Did you have the perseverance, the depth of faith to just let go and see what God can do? I for one can say I had a lot of doubts against me, but through faith, and not letting go of the faith, God prospered me academically and starting me off in my career life. I just have one other dream left, one that I am still hoping is a possibility for me. But that is a story for another time. So when things get heavy, try to think about the good things that have happened to you, your accomplishments, honor God in them, because you are in His hands, whether you think you are or not, you just have to let go and let God.

+PeAcE+